Some people are good at it. Some actually, you can't even find if you try. That's amazing in today's information age.
I've tried for the last few years to hide in the obscurity of this life and yet you find me. It doesn't make sense then to buy a website in my name and make it so easy, or post stupid videos on You Tube thinking they'll disappear someday. Also, being a part of anything even slightly successful is a waste also if you want to be anonymous.
I want to do radical things, I have the drive. I want to help shape and change the world for the better. I want to move mountains and uproot trees in their place. I want to break down the walls of injustice and bring tolerance and love to every human being.
But I'm constrained.
If I believe God is true and not a liar and that He knows all things and has directed all things to be as they are then it is Him who constrains me. It is Him to keeps me seeking obscurity and forced into a humble existence.
Move mountains? Hell yes I can! uproot trees from their place? in a heartbeat!
But He constrains me. He keeps me always considering the present moment, living in it, and causing me to go deeper and deeper...or higher and higher, however you want to call it.
I don't do this on purpose. This life that I live, it wasn't my choice entirely. God, the creator, Maker, the One who knows all, the Almighty...He has giving all of this to me and says, "enjoy, create, laugh, be alive, and celebrate"!
So with what I have I tend to always want to share or at least give others the experiences I am experiencing. Why wouldn't I. This life is fantastic! It's full and intense! It's magical and majestic! It's just plain ridiculously amazing!
Of course then, you're brought back to reality right? Which is what? think about it for a second...right now, this moment...what's wrong with your life? Really, not what wrong that you're going to fix or what's wrong that happened to you in the past but what's wrong at this very moment as you read these words on the page?
.......absolutely nothing.
The true you, not your ego but the one that makes you you, that one that knows what I'm talking about, that inner you...what's actually wrong in your life at this moment? Nothing...if you are honest.
It's true, without the ego. Life is beautiful. True life. It's better than beautiful. That's where I want to live.
In obscurity to my ego.
Where I can't be found if you google me because I don't exist. Death to self is everywhere, in every religion, throughout history. Who do I want to be? Not someone that hurts people, not someone that's know to be an prick, not someone that cares only for his own good and not that of others.
Honestly, I'd want to be selfless in truth. I want to be for you and celebrate your life and your successes, not my own. Maybe in this obscurity I may find that ability to move those mountains that can't be seen and uproot those trees that can't be uprooted. Maybe there is reasoning behind being forced away from my ego and toward selflessness.
Maybe there is something actually happening in the midst of this moment that we don't even see. Maybe seeking obscurity is what's revealing the true identity of living.
We will see.
