With the invention of the darkweb you can now score the highest quality drugs in the world and have them mailed right to your mailbox. It's like Amazon but for drug addicts. It's truly revolutionary.
And it's extremely difficult for me not to partake in this phenomenon. It's just too easy for an addict. It's like being a porn addict with the ease of Pornhub or Youporn these days, it's just a click away.
Also, I'm what you'd call pretty successful.
In the last 7 years I've built a 6 million dollar company, I have 2 teenage children, a beautiful wife, a dog, cat, and a big house up on the hill. And I'm addicted to heroin.
While i've been an addict my whole life I've only been doing heroin for the last 6 months everyday. I was addicted years ago but made my way to sobriety and then back again. I do make sure I purchase the highest quality stuff online and in doing so I spend a bit over $3000 a month to support my habit. However, I make upwards of $50,000 a month so it's not like it's a big hit to my finances. I'm what you'd call a high functioning addict. I can work and live my life out just like a normal person and you'd never know I'm a junkie. You'd actually think I'm far from it.
I am the CEO of a multimillion dollar company and I work longer and harder than most and I am able to dominate even my closest manager. I've created this fairytale kind of life that supports my way of living, overt the last 10 years I have carefully crafted the way I exist. It's truly phenomenal to say the least.
But it does have its drawbacks. And I know this kind of lifestyle can spiral down quickly. I've been down that spiral before, a few times. I've always bounced back though and each time stronger.
I do feel, through recent circumstance, that this season is coming to an end. Here within the next 10 days the daily drug use and the addiction to heroin will cease to exist, once again.
I will be tracking my daily journey here each day to see what and how I feel, the mindset I have, and maybe use this for future remembrance so I can see how it happened and what I did or didn't do.
This week, I began to taper my dose. I will begin to take less and less for the next week and then jump to suboxone when I'm ready and then use that as a quick taper to finish my opaite withdrawal.
I tapered down to using .2 grams of H 4 times a day (with some smoking in between).
my current dose is .2 grams at 12p, 3pm, 6p, and 9pm
Tomorrow I will begin to dose .1 grams during the same times and do this for 2 days. We'll see how it goes.
