Every time i go to church these days i am so constrained by the spirit to get involved. i have purposely withdrawn myself from the ministry to focus on the more important things in life for a season. It seems that my heart has grown hard toward the calls of god in my life. I know some day i will once again press in to the ministry with all i have yet i feel now is still not the time.
I know to many that seems like foolish and a lame attitude but i understand it quite well, at least in my state of callousness. I believe God is still teaching me in this time of wilderness and i think it will still be a while before i dive deep into the call of god once again. As bad as i want to share of the depths of god through teaching and worship i can hardly make it through a sermon without feeling annoyed by the lack of tact and preparation by the one teaching.
However, i am still pressing on with what jesus has placed before me at this time in life. I will press on, i will continue to grow as a person, a husband, a father, and a child of god. My faith is as real as it's ever been only my heart is the one being called and challenged to engage, to fight and compete for the his mission.
1 comment:
Keep it going, brother. I have definitely been there and when I go to a traditional church gathering, I really struggle to just worship God and appreciate the hearts of the people running the service. Thankfully, I usually gather with like-minded people that I am in mission and community with, these days.
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