Today is a day of travel. The thing that I enjoy about traveling is that you are almost always going. Not a hurried busy-like going but more a focus and direct movement into whatever it is you are traveling for. I heard somewhere that if you struggle to meditate that you should travel. I find almost a long lasting awareness when I travel. It's very surreal.
Drug intake today: 2g kratom, cannabis, nicotine
So it's been 2 days without vaping. It's a continual desire to smoke but the nicotine from the chewing tobacco helps with the cravings, however, my lip is starting to not like it already. Other than that I've been very low on the cannabis too. One reason being is that when I threw away my vape I also threw away my way of smoking cannabis. I had to rig up something that would burn cannabis wax and it wasn't easy and thus I've been smoking very little if any at all.
The kratom is still at 2g. I spaced it much longer today than normal and will continue to space it more and more and then drop to 1.5g then to 1g. I think it'll last another week or two. I hope by day 60 to only be using cannabis and only in very small amounts.
Overall, this was one of the better vacations I've had in awhile. Not drinking and getting really high has given me the ability to watch my family, see the world around me, and live with a ton of gratitude. My life is pretty great, I am surrounded by love if I look for it, and the more I focus on helping others the better my life gets.
If we give more than we receive we win. It's not easy, it's actually really hard to be selfless.
I know that when I practice selflessness my world becomes brighter and much more clear. "The greatest amount you will be the servant of all." Jesus wasn't an idiot.
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