Day 56

Drug intake today: 1.5g kratom, cannabis.

Once again I really think this combination is beneficial for me at this time.  I've been eating healthy-er and focusing on being aware of what I'm doing each day.  I'll keep my promise and be substance free by the time I finish this blog, at least the 90 day point.

So I stopped drinking once I got off heroin.  I really actually like not drinking.  Alcohol really was and is a big compromise for me.  I always loved getting a micro beer at a restaurant or tasting a really good wine and it will be missed.  But the way I feel now without drinking is amazing.

And I don't get hammered usually when I drink and I never considered myself an alcoholic.  But what does happen is anytime I've ever gone deeper and deeper into drug addiction alcohol was always there to nurse me along.  It's something I know is my turning point.  If I drink I chose to take that step toward a place without boundaries.  I always want more when I drink alcohol.  Either more to drink, something to smoke, anything to keep the buzz going you know.

A cocktail of drugs isn't complete without alcohol.

If all I have to do is sacrifice drinking alcohol to never do drugs again then I will gladly never take another drink again.